Re-proof

I’m taking it easy this week. After all I’ve posted about in the last few weeks, it’s time for me to take some pressure off myself.

I have finished the final final proofs of Human Resources, finding a mighty total of two errors (one typesetting, one artistic). It’s a hard process, finishing a book. As well as around nine drafts – I lost count somewhere along the way – of the damn novel, I have had to answer to my copy edits. Then, over the last month, I’ve gone through pre- and post-proofread drafts to ensure the product is as good as it can possibly be, given the massive drag factor of my brain.

That’s a lot of reading in not much time. And it aint what you call fun reading, either: not only is it your own stuff but it’s stuff that you’ve already moved on from, mentally. It’s like you’re being called back to court to answer to charges you’d thought had been heard long years ago.

Which is why I’m having a rest this week. I shall return to my Old Testament intergenerational epic of an edit with something of a sense of relief: at least here is something new, a sort of mental palate-cleanser.

And as for this blog? Well, much as I love you, I’m not going to break my back with a search for something new to say. No, you can make do with this and be happy.

I do love you, though. Never think otherwise

Anti-creation

Another week goes by without any creative work from me. I am still editing aplenty, but not my own work. This is supposed to be a writing blog. I am letting the side down, no?

Well, maybe. But that’s how it is; not every week can be jam-packed with creativity or dangerous dreams (and speaking of which, I had a doozy last night). Do I not deserve a little time off sometimes? Don’t you? We all need a little downtime. It’s hard for us, the creatives, to take a proper break because the ideas come irregularly and opportunities must be seized as they arise.

But self-care is still important; burn-out – whatever that actually means – is a danger and flying too far, too fast, can lead to a hard landing. For months I was engaged with first-drafting a novel and I only finished that hard, intense work less than a month ago. I should not be so hard on myself. And you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself either.

We all do what we can, work in our own ways. Comparing ourselves, our productivity, with others is hard to resist, sometimes, but never tells anything more than half-truths.

….And, just like that, the above has been turned into one big lie. The final final proofs of Human Resources have arrived. My last last chance to spot errors/tidy grammar before the novel goes to the printers.

So, no rest, no relaxation for me. Once more I go through this darn novel; each pass takes me further from reality, it seems, and my connection to the text becomes weaker. There’s not even any wincing, now, but also no sense of good or bad.

But the work must be done. No taking it back now, saying ‘I’ve suddenly lost my confidence and can we forget the whole thing?’ I am committed.

Human Resources will be published in November. It will be as good as I can possibly make it.

The proof

The proofs are in. This is the last chance I’ll have to rework Human Resources – well, ever. The last chance I’ll have to make sure I’m not sending out a pile of dreck into the great wide world, and that my reputation won’t be forever tarnished.

Early thoughts? Well it’s surprisingly not too terrible. All those drafts and heartburn heartache has just about paid off. My beta-readers came through for me.

I won’t ever be able to read my own work without wincing, so, aside from forced occasions such as readings, I may never pick up the book again. It can never be good enough for me, can never not cause me to flush with embarrassment.

So far in the proofs I’ve picked up on one or two very minor points – a typesetting error, the repetition of a phrase – and one bigger what does that actually mean? So it’s so far so un-terrible.

Is it actually any good? I don’t think I can answer that. Maybe there are artists who can stand back from their work and say objectively ‘yes, I’ve nailed this,’ or ‘I don’t think I’ve quite hit that as I wanted,’ but I’m not one of them. It’s been too long since I wrote it for me to have boundless enthusiasm but I don’t want to be too negative because it’s probably actually much better than I think.

I don’t hate it.

And you should buy it.

Erm. It’s actually really really good and I believe in it whole heartachedly wholeheartedly. That’s what I came here to say. Obviously.

No, let’s say this: I have more faith (less cheek-burning embarrassment) about this than I did in Night Shift. I’ve written some good stuff in my life and this can hold its head up.

So yes, pre-orders now available.

Line by line

I gasp with relief. The Great Editing is complete, dispatched, out the electronic door in the nick of time, the deadline met by the skin of the teeth. And by so doing I feel free, enlightened and able to see past the metaphorical ramparts once more.

And what do I see? Why, is that the grim spectre of More Work ghosting o’er the horizon?

I do believe it is. Yes, I still have four novels lined up in my copy-edit-queue, plus – and this is next in my sights – a proofread of Human Resources, which represents my very last chance to change anything in the text before it’s off to the printers and all is set in stone.

Hopefully this will be more of a quick scan of the text than a serious editing challenge – I don’t think the editor who has already signed off on my piece would be too pleased with wholesale changes – but we shall see.

I still hope to get back to doing more intense editing/creation of my own writing someday in the not-too-distant future. But for now it’s time to crawl back inside the Editorium and crack on with line-by-line work. Because that’s as important as the blue-sky big picture thinking.

It’s certainly what pays the bills. Or at least gets the beers in.

Next up

Manuscript

Next on my to-do list, whilst I wait for my next piece of commercial editing, is to dig up a manuscript I last worked on over a year ago. That’s not too long in the grand scheme of things, but it’s long enough for me to forget just about every single detail. Long enough, one hopes, to gain a little perspective and to be able to judge the book on its true merits.

Yes, it’s back to the word-mines for me. After complaining, last week, about the need for emotional space after the completion of a big project, I am going straight back to the well. It’s really too soon; I’m not strong enough yet. But I have a bit of time and I need to be doing something to justify my existence. So it’s on with editing.

This particular piece is the third book in the Antarctic trilogy – the finale, at least as it stands. It’s a novel I have fond feelings for. I enjoyed writing it, as far as I can remember, and it gives Anders Nordvelt, my protagonist, a measure of closure after the ordeals he’s been through throughout the three books.

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My heart says that this is the best of the trilogy. And right there is something to be fearful of: one can never trust one’s own emotions on such a subject. I’ve been wrong before. When I first wrote what became Human Resources I thought it was the best thing I’d ever written. That took a hell of a lot of work to beat into a reputable shape (I think I succeeded, by the way. You’ll be able to judge for yourself come November).

So I am being exceptionally cautious. In my last pass, all those months ago, I excised a large (10kish) section because it interrupted the flow; now I worry that the novel is too short. And while I feel like I have the nucleus of a strong story, it’s just the execution that matters. Ideas are two a penny, but the way the tale is told is what makes it unique.

I am doing my best to not be a fool to myself. Sadly, being a fool is what I do best. And I am terrified: this novel is next up to be sent to my editor; the next with a chance of being rejected, in other words, and one that I really care about being published. I want to get it right. I want to do it justice. Maybe I’m speaking more of anxiety than I am about writing here, but I’m terrified of the publisher turning round and saying no.

So yes, this matters. Time I got down to it, I guess.

Actually, forget all that: my next commercial job just came in so I guess all this is put on the back-burner, for a little while at least.

Onwards!

Onwards

There are a surprising number of sloth/unicorn artists out there. I believe this copyright is owned by Jez Kemp

Delay of game

Delay of game

Important news: Human Resources has been postponed. It will now be released in November, not July as originally advertised.

First off, I need to apologise to all you who have already pre-ordered it. What’s that, you say? You haven’t done that yet? Well, it’s still orderable from Flame Tree Press’ website and, presumably, all good bookshops. What are you hanging about here for?

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The delay, I hasten to say, is nothing to do with me. My copy-edits were in on time and the editor was happy with my work. It was instead a business decision. I’m not allowed to give any details beyond that a new deal has led to Flame Tree’s release schedule being rejiggered and my book is amongst those affected.

I can also say that it should work out to be a positive move both for me and the company; this isn’t one of those ‘oh my god it’s all gone to shit’ moments; it’s a good thing, I’m assured (I know very little about the actual business of publishing, though I’m learning).

Good thing or not, it’s a disappointment to me personally. I was hoping for some sort of launch event at Edge-Lit and maybe take in one or two more cons as an author with something to talk about. Now I have nothing to declare but my incompetence.

It’s also a short-term blow financially. Like most authors, the advance I will/have received for Human Resources is split into three payments: one upon signing of the contract, one on receiving of the finished text (though I’m not entirely sure when that arrives; I’ve done my copy-edit but not received this payment yet) and the last upon publication. Obviously I won’t now be receiving this last part until November. Not that it’s a great deal of money, you understand. But it’s money I won’t now be getting when I thought.

Long-term it may well be better for me to wait. Depends how this deal pans out, though in any case it’ll be very hard to judge cause-and-effect. We shall see.

Of more concern to me, however, is that it now feels like my career’s on hold until November.

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Normally I’d advise people to try and fill their downtime with either writing their next novel or trying to get other material published and that’s what I’m going to be doing myself. I’m somewhat limited, however. I’m not a writer of short fiction, which is bread-and-butter to a lot of writers, and I’m contractually unable to pitch my other big novel-hope out to publishers at the moment. I don’t have an agent (my perpetual refrain; sorry to go on about it) and so don’t have the benefit of their advice on how to take my career forwards.

So, although I will be continuing to write and my endless search for an agent goes on, I feel like I’ve nothing really to do until November. My career hangs in limbo, and has done ever since the release of Night Shift – a gap of two years between publications. Two years’ wasted time.

(It’s not wasted, of course it isn’t. I’ve been busy writing; I’ve edited two novels and a have a third on the way. But that’s how it feels. Like I’ve been twiddling my thumbs all this time.)

So what do I do? I fill my downtime with writing, of course. And trying to find an agent. And making more friends amongst the writing community. And getting better at what I do.

I just wish I had something to sell, something to get my name out there. Tiny steps; no miracle-hunter I.

Something to make me feel like I was making progress.

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Human Resources

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Ain’t it a beauty? Yes, it’s the cover no-one’s been waiting for: Human Resources is here!

It’s available now for pre-order before its official release date of 23rd July 2020. The link’s to Flame Tree Press’s site but you can also order it from all good bookshops or, failing that, Amazon.

Please feel free to harangue your local library into stocking a copy or two. We heart libraries here and most (all?) have online forms to put in stock requests.

I am overcome. I still can’t quite believe this is happening – Human Resources is the result of years of hard labour and to see it graced with such a magnificent cover kinda blows me away. I wish I had the name of someone to credit but I think it’s all done either in-house or by an agency.

Really hope you like it too.

The important details again:

Human Resources

Release date: 23/07/20
ISBN: 9781787584938 (hbk)
9781787584921 (pbk)

Available now for pre-order!

Getting things wrong

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News! Human Resources, the second in the Australis trilogy, is due out July 2020!

That’s the best part of a year away but I’m already getting anxious and wondering if there’s anything I should be doing to promote it. And so I begin to compose an email suggesting a few things that my publisher might like to help me organise: to get on a few convention programmes, maybe a launch event; and to merely put myself at their disposal.

There’s not much I like less than sending emails promoting myself, pushing my agenda or asking for favours. I’ve never learnt the art of the blag. And I’m sure I’m not alone.

Couple that with my almost complete ignorance of the way the world works – specifically publishing, conventions and media bookings – and there’s a massive opportunity to get things wrong. But I know that big things are booked way in advance so, at least in theory, now is the perfect time to think about these things. I have about nine months’ grace. Last time, with Night Shift, I missed chances. I should be thinking about this now.

But I agonise over emails; I compose them when I’m in the car, or when I’m lying in bed, and they’re perfect: but get me behind a computer and it all falls apart. Am I asking too much? Am I being cheeky? I lack the necessary arrogance to imagine that people see my emails as anything other than self-serving and grasping. I am an inconvenience, something to be resented.

But the emails have to be sent. I have a book coming out, for goodness’ sake. How wonderful is that?

There is something of imposter syndrome in all this. At least part of me believes that my writing isn’t good enough to be published; that I’ve somehow got away with something. To be asking for more is the height of impertinence, even when our interests collide.

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Besides, I don’t deserve more. Who am I? An end-list nobody, that’s who. Who am I to be asking to be put on convention programmes? They’ve never heard of me. You’ve barely heard of me, and you’re reading this.

But this is where everyone starts from. Everyone feels like this. It’s part of what makes us human and there are a lot of people who get it worse than me. Ha, I’m even an imposter when it comes to imposter syndrome.

Anyway, I have sent the Great Email of Doom. It’s done. It’s off.

Now it’s just a case of waiting for the Great Reply of Terror.

New book news

Day Today

The briefest of all possible blog-posts today, in which I settle for giving news:

I have officially signed a contract for the publication of Human Resources in 2020. For those who don’t know, HR is the sequel to Night Shift and will be published by the wonderful Flame Tree Press, who also did book one and I’m hoping to blag into accepting book three in a year or two’s time.

This is obviously wonderful news for me and I’d like to thank anyone who’s bought, reviewed or merely read NS for without you no company would touch me with a barge-pole. It’s been hard work – and there’ll doubtless be more to come – but right now it feels like it’s all been worth it.

Extra special thanks to all my beta-readers, who I forced to read various drafts of substandardness in order to make it to publishable levels.

I’ve no cover to reveal yet; rest assured that I’ll keep you posted with whatever ramblings come out of the book-production process. Right now I’m just happy that I’m not going to be a one-hit(!) wonder.

The relief is palpable.

The difficult second album

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I have done what I promised. I have submitted Human Resources and now I have that vague feel of remorse that often follows big actions.

But it’s not a big thing is it, not really. I’ve been rejected hundreds of times. A rejection here wouldn’t be so different – would it?

Well, yes and no. A rejection here won’t make me poorer. It won’t knock me off what low-level perch I’ve managed to claw myself to. I won’t be back to starting from scratch.

But this is my difficult second album. It’s where the sales from my last release are compared with the quality evident in my work to determine if I have a future with this publisher. A rejection means they don’t believe I can sell enough to make their investment worthwhile. This isn’t necessarily down to me, or things I can control, but obviously I control the quality of my work.

Or do I?

As soon as you commit a story to paper, you are starting the process of fixing it into a set form. It’s fine and flexible for the first draft or two – it’s easy to change your mind at this stage – but the more time you spend on a work the more ossified it becomes. Soon it is a colossal wrench to make the smallest changes.

At some point you will come to a decision: continue wrestling with an intractable beast, start a new work from scratch, or declare it finished and move on.

I’ve had real difficulty in getting Human Resources into a shape I’m happy with. The wrestling has left its scars. Now I have declared it finished but I am still unsure if that’s because it truly is as good as it could possibly be or if I’m simply too beat up.

Time, too, is a factor here. Without an agent to tell me what is ‘normal’ for the delivery of a sequel, I imagine missed opportunities, publishing dates passing, other authors and novels by the same publisher dominating my news-feed. Have I been forgotten? Am I already written off as a flop? Why haven’t we got his next work yet?

Second-album syndrome. It shouldn’t exist. You’re always trying to do your best work; why should this one be so different?

It is, though. And now I’m nervously waiting the answer that could go a long way to determine my career as a writer.

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